Just put on your happy face!
That is how I am feeling lately. I am tired of putting on my happy face. I am just tired of pretending at work and with friends and family that everything is hunky dory. (Not sure if that is how you spell that little phrase but we'll just go with it!) It seems like a full time job these days to put on the front that everything is okay. Even people who are aware of our infertility seem to expect the "normal Sara." Geez people cut me some slack once in a while! We saw both of our families this weekend and not one person asked us how we are doing. Am I expecting too much? My boss at work even has called me out on a few occasions and has told me that I am not the same person I was a year ago and he has told me in a joking fashion that I am too uptight lately. This really makes me sad because that is just not my personality at all (well at least I hope not.) I just don't know how to get back to the normal Sara. I don't think there is going back after this. Just moving forward. But right now we really aren't moving at all. We are just stuck without a paddle waiting for something to pull us to shore. Even though my husband shouldn't have to, he at least understands that some days I just want to sulk and be upset and let my feelings show.
I guess I just have to keep reminding myself: "Suck it up, Sally!" One of my favorite quotes is -
"If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours right back." I truly believe in that. We are given what God knows we can handle.
I don't really have much to say today but kind of felt the need to vent about being tired. Somebody splash some water on my face and wake me up!