Thursday, February 10, 2011

50 - What I Didn't Know

This is officially my 50th post. For some reason it feels as though I have written many more than that! I know 50 doesn't seem like a lot but it is exciting to me to compare the Sara in May to the Sara now. Back in May of last year I decided that I would start this blog to have a way to vent about my infertility. This is my list of things that I did not know 50 posts ago.....

- I didn't know I would still not be pregnant right now.
- I didn't know my sister would be engaged, my brother in law engaged, and three of my good friends would be pregnant well before I am...other people's lives are moving forward while our feet are still stuck in the mud.
- I didn't know I would have to give myself shots in the stomach - like a lot of them!
- I didn't know it wouldn't bother me after a while to give myself a shot. No big deal (well at first it was - kind of get used to it!)
- I didn't know we would do 3 more IUI's which would make 5 total and still not be successful.
- I didn't know I would have surgery to figure this shit out.
- I didn't know I would lose complete faith in trying naturally.
- I didn't know that IVF would ever be on our radar let alone right around the corner.
- I didn't know a fabulous RE would come into my life and make my husband and I feel very comfortable about the choices we have made and guide us through to where we are today.
- I didn't know that the receptionists at the fertility center would know us by name.

- I didn't know I would meet so many wonderful, amazing, inspiring, and supportive women through my blog - seriously you all are truly freaking awesome.
- I didn't know my husband and I would be strong enough to get to the point we are today.
- I didn't know I could connect to the core of my soul with my husband. Infertility really takes a marriage to depths of understanding that only fellow infertiles I think could really get.

- I didn't know that this blog would end up not just being about venting. Boy was I wrong about that back in May. This blog means so much more to me than I ever could have guessed. This blog has brought me friendship, support, laughter, and best of all connections with other women who share similar paths. It has allowed me to document our journey. I have learned so much from all of you who are out there continuing your own journeys.

I realize that being kind, empathetic, nurturing, and understanding is so important because everyone we encounter is fighting some kind of battle. My battle just happens to be infertility. My infertility just happens to make me think a lot. My thinking just happens to make me want to write. My writing just happens to occur on this blog. So THANK YOU to everyone who has been an incredible support to my writing and experience. I am forever grateful for this blog and all of the things I never knew it would bring me. I am forever grateful to all of you who continue to cheer us on.


  1. This post could have been written by so many of us. Hang in there Sara - your time is coming. Our time is coming. I'm glad you're part of our crew. :)

  2. Lovely and poignant post Sara. I'm sorry you aren't pregnant yet. I wish I could speed things up and move things ahead for both of us.

    I have also been surprised by IVF becoming not only a very real possibility, but something literally right around the corner. I never thought I would/could be here. Life took some odd turns, but hopefully the end result will still be the same - a take home baby for both of us.

  3. I agree with Josey, Sara. So many of us could have written these very words. IVF was never even in my vocabulary, but here we are and it is our ONLY option. It's a very scary place to be but I'm happy that your marriage, like mine, has gotten stronger through IF. I mean, do we REALLY need another thing to worry about?? :/

  4. Thanks for being here, Sara. I am sorry you have to be but I appreciate your thoughts, your sharing and your support!

  5. I get so excited to see your posts when they pop up on my dashboard and I can't wait for the BIG post to come soon. You will get there and you will have so many people TRULY celebrating right along with you. Always cheering you on...

  6. What a great post. It's amazing what this journey brings into your life-and the strength and friendship you find along the way.

  7. Great post Sara, isn't it amazing how much this journey changes us. I can definitely find positives in that too, and maybe a bit of pride in how my husband and I have handled everything together-it has definitely made us stronger too!
    I enjoy reading your blog and always appreciate your support and lovely comments on my blog too.It's a great little community isn't it!

  8. this is great Sara. I think we have all felt these things at one point or another. Here to support you through the next steps. You are so right about this community, just amazing. Its like a big hug all the time.

  9. It is so hard when we are stuck at one point in our lives, can't get past it and then everyone else achieves it so quickly and easily. I am glad you have joined this community though and have received great support from it and your hubs.

  10. Happy 50, Sara. Beautiful post :) Blogging has taken over my life, I swear, but I wouldn't change it for anything. It has made my life more bearable :)