Monday, September 20, 2010

Happiness Today, Hope for Tomorrow

Thank you to Kelly at Little Looman Log for nominating me for the Happiness Today, Hope For Tomorrow award this week. I feel so blessed to have been thought of! I think the title is pretty self explanatory, so here it goes....

This list could get long but I will limit it to a few things...
I am happy that my husband and I are still madly in love. I think a lot of times infertility can really be a barrier in a marriage, but we have kept the lines of communication wide open and will not let this beat us. I am happy that I can still just sit in the room and know that my life with my husband is good enough....we are just ready to start a family and a new part of our journey together. My happiness comes from a deep place of trust with my hubby. I know that we will not fall through the cracks. I know that he will be with me no matter what infertility brings us or even if in one of my "moments" I throw a plastic bowl across the room and it breaks our tv. (oops!) I know that however we make a baby it will be out of the deepest LOVE for each other. It may take meds and procedures to get us there, but the MAIN ingredient is love. I am happy that I believe in our love.

I am also happy that I have a job again. This past year I was laid off from my teaching job due to budget cuts in the district I work in. I was called back this year and feel so thankful to have a new batch of kids. My heart is happy when I know I make a difference in the life of a child.

My hope for tomorrow and beyond is that I can be a mother. I am hopeful that i can accept any way that may come. I am hopeful that soon I will be pregnant and my husband and I can begin to dream about the future in more realistic terms. Right now, our dreams seem to be more of a fantasy...reality needs to set in sometime soon. I am hopeful that I can inspire people to just keep going. To dig deep in the mud and keep trucking along. My husband and I could have thrown in the towel a long time ago because infertility is really stinking hard...but as my wise husband once told me, God wouldn't have given us emotions if He didn't want us to feel things. My hope is that i can take those emotions and do something good with them. Some days I might be so angry and upset that I might just throw a bowl across the room, but other days I hope that I can inspire and encourage other women to believe in themselves and in the strength that they never knew they had.