Here we are...waiting again to do something to change our infertility status. We are in between trying and not trying. We are not in treatments and we are not trying (please refer to my last post about not being able to insert anything into my vagina for two weeks according to my discharge nurse for my lap!) We are just kind of stuck in the middle of no where. BFE (Big Fat Endometriosis) has caused us to take a brief intermission from trying. Please come back after you have taken a bathroom break and helped yourself to any refreshments. ;)
Ever since we have included more people in our circle of trust, I have never figured out why family members and friends are invisible during the times that don't include meds, procedures, or surgeries. I was talking to a good friend of mine about it the other day, and she said she doesn't want to upset us by bringing it up. I told her that Chad and I are more than willing to talk about our struggles but probably won't bring it up ourselves. So there lies the problem - no one wants to initiate conversations about our infertility! I think I need to communicate to our sometimes invisible support system that we are going to have bad days regardless of if someone brings up our issues or not. Having people feel comfortable talking to us makes us feel supported and loved - and that is really what keeps us going on some of the darkest days. Talk about it! Ask us how we are doing. Show interest and see what our next steps are or ask us how we are doing while in the two week wait, or how are you doing during the in between time. My husband and I are both teachers and maybe we need to educate our friends and family on the ins and outs of dealing with an infertile couple! We don't bite! I promise!
I was really proud of my husband today because he talked to some of his co-workers about our situation. He came out of the infertility closet! It is never easy to open yourself up to the possibilities of feeling vulnerable. Go hubby! :) In case you are wondering - yes, I am done being corny (for now!)
Stuck in the middle. I feel like we are on a surfboard just waiting for that next big wave to take us to shore. Our next step (believe it or not) is to try naturally! Yes, I am thankful for those words and the chance that we could get pregnant this way, but I certainly don't trust it. The natural way has let us down so many times and has shoved its' middle finger in our faces more times than we could handle. But then again, deep down inside of me is this little box of hope that has been sealed shut for quite some time - this could actually work. Oh, hope, please creep out of that box. We have a plan in case this whole "naturally" thing doesn't work - but wouldn't it just be wicked awesome if it did?
Stuck in between. Stuck waiting. CALM AND STRONG (I just have to keep reminding myself of this.)