Vacation?

Well, my husband and I are back from vacation! It was a fun trip but we are definitely glad to be home. Home is predictable, comfortable, and is what I need right now.

It blew my mind on our vacation how much I could not get away from infertility. Apparently, it follows me everywhere (I am sure many of you can relate to this.) I found myself just in a daze many times thinking about if I am pregnant or not and what will I do if I am and what will I do if I'm not. I wrote a post a while back about being preoccupied in my thoughts. That just about sums up the trip for me. Although I did have a ton of fun, I never felt like my whole self was ever really there. My body may have been on vacation but my mind was not. Some days I just wish I could let go of worrying about everything related to infertility (which is a lot to ask of myself.)

I can take a pregnancy test on Tuesday...not sure if I want to take a test or just wait for a missed period. There have been many moments these past few days that make me think I am pregnant. My boobs are way swollen and feel like I just lost a WWF match where someone just continuously punched me in that area...although sometimes they hurt when Aunt Flo is coming. I kind of just feel "off" and am really tired and out of it...but this could just be stress. I have been feeling minor aches and pains in my lower back and abdomen...once again it could be signs that my period is coming. For now, we just continue to wait. I am so excited and fearful to take that test. This has to be it. (I have said that way too many times before!)

I am doing my best catching up with reading/commenting with everyone's blogs. It kind of was nice to be away from a computer for so long...no facebook, no e-mail, no blogging. I felt kind of free! But it is nice to be back at it! :)

In the meantime, I will be unpacking, grocery shopping, and cleaning the house. Back to reality! :)