So last night I watched the second to last episode of one of my favorite shows, Lost. Whoever came up with the title for that show should win an Oscar or some kind of prize because there has not been a single episode yet that I have not felt lost after watching it. So the season finale is this Sunday....last show....ever. I must say I am kind of sad but ready to let it go. I am ready for all of those poor people on the island to not be lost anymore. All bad things must come to an end, right?
Now, you may be wondering why I am writing about a tv show on an infertility blog. Ironically, I can take a pregnancy test this weekend. I have been lost within my infertility for quite some time now. I feel like I have lost who I am as a person...not sure when but somewhere in the middle of trying to get pregnant month after month and being let down month after month has left me kind of on a deserted island. The only other person on that island is my husband. I was talking to my mom on the phone tonight and had a hard time because I just kept thinking "Oh, mom, if you only knew what I was going through right now." My husband and I have promised that we will talk to our families regardless of the results this cycle. At least if we don't end up pregnant we will have a few others on the deserted island with us. I am really hoping this weekend marks not only the end of one of my favorite shows, but the end of my infertility (realizing that it will always stay with me.) I am ready for it to go away (at least until our second child!) I will always carry my lessons I have learned from infertility with me and will savor every moment (good or bad) of pregnancy and will cherish every moment of motherhood. Maybe, just maybe, this will be the end and the beginning this weekend.