Friday, November 19, 2010

What we do have...

Laparascopy here we come! We had our "what is the next step" appointment with our doctor yesterday. He kept trying to explain IVF and laparascopy to us and I finally said to him "We are very well aware of what our options are and know quite a bit about both of those choices." He said "You want me to decide for you don't you?" We both told him that him choosing for us would just make our lives a whole lot easier. He did tell us he thinks the best choice would be to have the surgery. Not my favorite idea but hopefully it will give us some answers and if it doesn't it will at least give us the peace of mind to move forward (with IVF.) Throughout this whole journey my goal is to just be mentally ready for each step. That involves me eliminating all of my options before I pursue new things. Now, I know everyone does it differently but that is just the way it has worked for me. I am very nervous about the procedure but am hopeful with what may come of it. I broke down in the car right after the appointment with my husband and just said "I need this to just be easier." We are going to just continue to live out the answer.

My goal for the upcoming holiday season: focus on what we do have instead of what we don't have.
I must start remembering that we are so blessed in our lives. I must pull myself out of this black hole I have been in. I must pull myself up by my boot straps and just keep on keepin' on. Will surgery probably suck? Yup. Will I have to take off work? Yup. Will we be one step closer to pregnancy? Yup.
We do have good doctors, we do have each other, we do have support, we do have our faith, and we do have a roof over our heads, food to eat, dogs to spoil us, cars to drive, warm clothes to wear, and love to give.
I am going to focus on spreading some more of that love this holiday season.
As Love Actually, one of my favorite movies says "Love is all around." Sometimes we just need to open our eyes to remember where to find it and remember what we do have in our lives.


  1. That is one of my favorite movies as well. And you make a good point. I hope when the surgery comes up that it goes very well. HUGS.

  2. I've been lurking on your blog for quite sometime but wanted to come out and give you a virtual hug. You can do this! And you're not alone! I've had the surgery as well. While it's not what I would want to do on any given Tuesday, it's not all that bad. And having answers feels so good. Knowing you're one step closer feels even better. If you ever need someone to talk to that's been through it, feel free to email me.

  3. I am mostly a lurker, but had to write to you. :) I could have written this blog post myself just about a year ago too. We had just had our third failed 3rd IUI, missed Thanksgiving and was needing the same thing...just for all of this to be easier.
    I had a lap that January and while it was definitely uncomfortable and I did have to miss a little work, all in all it was very successful. We got a few answers...cyst removal, light endo removal and the doctor could see what he needed to. We don't know for sure that the lap fixed things for us, but since January, we had 2 fresh IVF cycles (no frozen) and I am now almost 6 months pregnant.
    I was hesitant about the surgery and even more hesitant about IVF, but got through it and You Will Too!!
    Please feel free to email me if you want to vent a bit or talk through it.
    You are definitely not alone! :)

  4. I know I haven't commented much either but wanted to say 'you can do it'. I also recently told my husband 'I just need this to be easier'.

    I had fibroid removal surgery this summer and not sure if this matters, but just got pregnant for the first time naturally (though I'm miscarrying now so need to figure out why I can't stay pregnant!! see- it's not easy!!)

    Anyway, just want to come give you support and much as it's hard, I'm resolved to focus on the positive and live life the way we're meant to - with joy and gusto. Easier said than done, but I'm going to try! Hope you can too!

  5. I am new to the blogging world and just discovered yours. I appreciate your positivity and your love of Love Actually. I am planning to make this season the most festive ever and may kick it off with the movie this evening. Thanks for your post and good luck!

  6. I had a lap in April after 2 unsuccessful IUI's (converted from IVF) and one unsuccessful IVF. I got pregnant on the IUI following the lap (unfortunately, it was Trisomy 18 and we aborted, but that's because my eggs are old). I had stage III endometriosis (mostly small lesions, but many) and the doctor aspirated a cyst (clear) and zapped the endometriomas. The statistics do say that success rates for a) trying on your own and b) IUIs go up after a lap that deals with some endo. The surgery itself was pretty easy. That hardest thing for me was the sore throat I had because of the airway they placed during anesthesia. Otherwise, no pain whatsoever in the two incision areas and you can no longer see either one of them. Good luck with all of this and let me know if I can provide any information or help in any way!

  7. I am sorry you have to do the lap, but you have such a great attitude about it. I hope that this proves to be the best decision and you get great results from it.