Laparascopy here we come! We had our "what is the next step" appointment with our doctor yesterday. He kept trying to explain IVF and laparascopy to us and I finally said to him "We are very well aware of what our options are and know quite a bit about both of those choices." He said "You want me to decide for you don't you?" We both told him that him choosing for us would just make our lives a whole lot easier. He did tell us he thinks the best choice would be to have the surgery. Not my favorite idea but hopefully it will give us some answers and if it doesn't it will at least give us the peace of mind to move forward (with IVF.) Throughout this whole journey my goal is to just be mentally ready for each step. That involves me eliminating all of my options before I pursue new things. Now, I know everyone does it differently but that is just the way it has worked for me. I am very nervous about the procedure but am hopeful with what may come of it. I broke down in the car right after the appointment with my husband and just said "I need this to just be easier." We are going to just continue to live out the answer.
My goal for the upcoming holiday season: focus on what we do have instead of what we don't have.
I must start remembering that we are so blessed in our lives. I must pull myself out of this black hole I have been in. I must pull myself up by my boot straps and just keep on keepin' on. Will surgery probably suck? Yup. Will I have to take off work? Yup. Will we be one step closer to pregnancy? Yup.
We do have good doctors, we do have each other, we do have support, we do have our faith, and we do have a roof over our heads, food to eat, dogs to spoil us, cars to drive, warm clothes to wear, and love to give.
I am going to focus on spreading some more of that love this holiday season.
As Love Actually, one of my favorite movies says "Love is all around." Sometimes we just need to open our eyes to remember where to find it and remember what we do have in our lives.